Hello dear readers,

As you may or may not be aware, Singles Awareness Day* is fast approaching and the minutes are slowly ticking away for you to choose the perfect gift to appease your most beloved one and/or favorite sexual partner(s): the Gomez to your Morticia, the Maggie to your Hopey, the Lucy to your Ricky, the Frodo to your Samwise, the Bey to your Jay, etc.**

If you're still casting about on a sea of uncertainty, and assuming you're not trying to shop for me***, I can tell you right now, the search is over. Give your boo a boner from EarthSeaWarrior.

Boners aren't just hilarious: they can also be beautiful, and make a meaningful and memorable gift. Give your sweetheart a one-of-a-kind gift they've never received, and give the gift everyone's really asking for: the D.

Score bigtime on Valentine's Day with a Raccoon Baculum from EarthSeaWarrior, and the next gift you're gonna get will be from these guys:

Buy it here:

               

Get your boner on, babez.

♡♡♡♡ xoxo ♡♡♡♡

*Known by Hallmark as "Valentine's Day"

**Couples drawn from my "true love lasts forever" list of potential breakups that would bring me to tears.

***All valentines addressed to me should contain pure sugar in the form of sour candies and Ring Pops.