The end of a regime. Queen (aka flawless intern) Kiwi must step down from her reign over the lands called EarthSeaWarrior’s Blog. Polling her citizens, various opinions about her rule ranged from “Fantastic” to “Super Fantastic”. She thanks you all.
As her resigning act of queenliness, she wants to impart a mythical tale, never before heard in its entirety: the tale of the Tushiez™. She accepts your gratitude in advance. (Side note, though, that when she found the only transcribed notes of this story, it had been chicken scratched onto a tiny slip of paper that led her to believe that the Tushiez had emerged because Ursula had somehow accidentally hit her head... again. But alas, the Tushiez did not come from such a tumultuous place, but rather from The Measter Web Warrior, George... who's talents lay more in striking key strokes).
This is the tale of the Tushiez™.....
In a time in the distant past, approximately February 2012, a dark time had arrived over the Kingdom of EarthSeaWarrior. Storm clouds rolled overhead, ocean waves crashed over the shore of the kingdom, wind blew from tree to tree and who knows what else. I’ll just name a few; snow, sleet, earthquakes, tornadoes, raining dolls (holyhail the dolls are committing suicide?!). Combating this storm was a dreadful thing and in the end, it manifested itself in a need to destroy rather than create for Ursula; but as the saying goes (actually it might only go this way in my head) – sometimes true beauty can only be found from the ruins.
As Ursula was hammering dolls, or rather decapitating their heads, an idea emerged to create life from the cracks and its pieces and from this emerged the "Alice in The Wall" collection (shoutout to my girl Alice, she’s everywhere. I'm not sure who Pink is though? I think he lives in the non-existing walls that surround The Warrshop). The predecessors of the Tushiez™, the dolls in the Alice in The Wall collection were headless antique German bisque dolls spruced up with air plants in place of heads. They were perfect.
However, as the name implies, antique is a finite source and as such the Tushiez™ were born.
Modeled after the Alice in the Wall collection but ultimately their own entity (in that EarthSeaWarrior manufactured them) the Tushiez were initially sold under EarthSeaWarrior, the original baby of Ursula and the store that focused and continues to focus on one-of-a-kind products.
Fast-forward two years to sometime in the recent past, the Tushiez army had built up its reputation and demand, along with so many other ESW products, which started to amass at levels that could not be fulfilled.
With this dilemma, ESW² arrived (shoutout to the fallen soldier, Keoki, for his Einsteinian facial expression that birthed our ESW² equation). If EarthSeaWarrior focuses on one-of-a-kind products, ESW² focuses on the mass produced.
Handmade in a ceramics factory located in Guangdong, China (owned by the family of our LittleFinger Warrior and with the production process overseen by LittleFinger), Tushiez™ can now be made in amounts that fulfill all demand needs with future aspirations of world domination (we go hard!). Additionally, the mass produced nature of ESW² ensures that Tushiez™ are affordable and available for all. And with its status of fledgling kingdom, bigger things are in the horizon for this budding enterprise. Can I hear a “Heyyy” for readily available pendant lights, lamps, bulbs, and so much more to come??
And with that story of present, past, and future, I step down from the throne because as it’s said (and this one is actually said), “when you play a game of thrones you win or you die”... or you peacefully hand over the crown to the next in line in a democratic succession (Yay America). Look out for the next blog post that will be coming from The Axel Warrior!
Driver roll up the partition please (you can find me in Bali),